I used to love June, it was my half birthday...the start of summer....the beginning of Big Brother! 

Then four years ago someone in Nairobi Africa skimmed by bank account for 8k 

Then two years ago new management let go of my services after being a part of that organization for almost two decades (that's about to have a happy ending tho!!) 

And last year...well, you know about last year. 

All I can say to myself every day is please let something good happen this June. Especially this year, on THAT day, when it will actually also be Father's Day, the ultimate double whammy. 

And I plead to whoever thinks I have the strength to get up every day, say a little extra prayer please! Because sometimes I can barely do it. There goes the portrayed image that I have coveted that I have my shit together. 

It's all around me to boot, yesterday I overheard a cashier casually telling the bag boy that she'll probably have another baby next year, because for some it's that easy. 

One of my favorite girlfriends was innocently telling us about the so many whoopsee pregnancies she knows of....it's hard to not be sensitive to this. It is not her fault, this is what people in the real world do.

The girl that laughs conspiratorially at me at a child's birthday party and chortles "Free Birth Control, huh?!"

And then I read this and my heart breaks all over again, never have I seen the process depicted so accurately. 

We also have a family friend starting a Go fund me for their adoption...I can't even. On so many levels. I just don't understand. 

I am trying to be cool about this in front of my husband because really how is he to stop the month of June, really.

But I know he would if he could and that is one of the few things that is keeping me afloat.

This means the future comes one day at a time, in Italian...words to live by. My best friend said Bring on June!!! Then it will be July! That is also a great way to look at it.

Sorry for the poo poo poopy dooo, but sometimes I have to let myself take a stab at my keyboard and see what comes out. Today is one of those days! 

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